I met them. I would be working one on one with each boy. The one I have called my R.S. (reluctant student) is ten. It wasn’t that I could not get him to work. He stayed on task. The problem was the cloud with which he surrounded himself.
“Too hard!” “Too much!” “I can’t.” Head on desk. Face in frown. An occasional marker hurled across the class. A paper scribbled over and torn out of frustration that it wasn’t right.
I would come home exhausted and stressed just from two hours with these boys. Last night I was up half the night wondering how in the world I would ever make a difference.
Then today came. Today the rock cracked and the light shone through. It is one of those days I want to remember. I want to recreate every detail as if there were something magic in the set of events that made up this special day. I want to bottle it. Share it. Cherish it.
On the way to work I turned on Joy FM 99.1 and listened to Mercy Me "If We Are the Body". The words pierced my heart. They challenged me: how can God’s love be seen if it isn’t flowing through me? How will God go if my feet don’t take Him? How can He reach if my hands aren’t outstretched?
“I’m taking your love into school today.” That was nothing new for me. I had declared hundreds of time that I was taking Jesus into hard places. But today….today I was facing a very troubled boy whose entire demeanor moaned, “Unwanted.”
He came in and I showed him the book I had purchased for him by Ted Dekker. “Too long. Too hard. Too many words.” We sat down and he started to write and became angry, scribbled so hard that the paper tore and tossed it aside. I made no reference to that action. Instead I said, “We both have some bad habits. You tell me mine, and I’ll tell you yours.” (Head down.) “My habit is that I talk too much! I’m very annoying. My brother always told me I was annoying. That brings back a bad memory.” (Head up an inch.) “You know what I see as your bad habit?” (hands over head as if not to hear.) “I see your bad habit as saying the words, ‘I can’t.’ ‘I won’t.’ ‘Too hard.’ Are you willing to try something? “ (No response) “How about if I bought a pack of little treats and if you could go for TEN MINUTES without saying anything negative, without putting your head down or complaining you could have a treat? And if you did it another ten minutes you could have another treat?” (Head came up and eyes connected.) "These are nothing but habits. You can change these habits. They'll change your future." He said,
“I never had anger problems until I had to move out of my house. I haven’t seen my baby sister but only once. They are all good. I’m the bad one.”
At this I felt the righteousness of God rise up on the inside of me. “You are not bad! You are not bad at all! You are a precious boy! A wonderful boy!” We began the plan of changing his behaviors. His eyes took on a light which I recognized as hope. “I have to be good for three months. If I am good for three months I get to go to a foster home.”
It was all I could do to keep from crying. But I remember the words of Dr. Yard, my professor. “Cheryl! You will NEVER help a student by pity or even compassion. You help them by giving them strategies so that they can change.”
So we have a strategy. This little fellow was perfectly delightful with a changed countenance today that I believe is just the beginning. Today the rock cracked. Today I saw the sun in his eyes.
